How internet dating sometimes makes me a jerk (aka, My Mini-Soap-Opera)

Those of you who have followed my exploits over the past while may have noticed my vague comments of developments that didn't work out, etc.  Finally, this story can now be told.  So sit back, and enjoy this story of unrequited love and semi-jerkiness on the internet.

It all started quite innocently.  I found a girl I liked online, and we started talking.  For reasons that will soon be apparent, this girl will not be designated a number, so we'll call her Alex.  She looked fantastic, she was kind, and she had a quirky yet charming sense of humour.  (single ladies who might be interested, please take note!)  We had a number of interesting exchanges, and Alex seemed like the type of person who actually understood me, which was a rare thing indeed.  The trouble was, I wasn't sure if she wanted to date me or just be friends.  So, after much anxiety and gut-checking  (thank you to all the 20sb chatters who helped me out with this, by the way) I put my foot down and finally asked her what it was she wanted, because I really couldn't figure it out.  Alex told me that she was only interested in being friends, because she still had feelings for her ex.
Around the same time, I received a message from another girl, who we'll call Dr. Crusher.  She was nerdy, and appeared to be interested in getting nerdier.  Normally, I'd jump at the chance to date a girl like this, but I wasn't quite as into Dr. Crusher as I was Alex.  In fact, Dr. Crusher really didn't do much for me in the looks department.  I'm not superficial by any means, but she just didn't quite have what I was looking for.  So, after a little more anxiety and gut-checking, I decided I had to do the right thing, and let Dr. Crusher know I wasn't quite as interested in her as she was in me.  I felt like a jerk doing it (and I realize how this looks after just posting something about jerks, so I'm well aware of how this looks) but it had to be done.  I couldn't have her as the 'backup', because that was just no good for anyone.  I tried to be nice about it, and offered to be friends with Dr. Crusher, but she didn't take it well, and I haven't heard from her since.
Getting back to Alex, I eventually realized that a dating scenario might never end up working with her.  I still liked her and wanted to be friends though, so I was forced to stop messaging her so I could fall out of love with her, as it were.  In truth, it didn't actually take all that long, since time flows in strange ways where the internet is concerned.  It was a little difficult for me to tell her this, but as with Dr. Crusher, it was something that had to be done.  She understood, and accepted my decision.  In fact, she apologized for putting me into that position, although it was really not her fault at all.  It was just a case of me getting ahead of things again, like I always do.  Alex and I are talking again now, and I'm sure we'll keep on being friends and talking about various random topics.

I think part of the problem with these situations is that when someone says they're just looking for friends on a dating website, I immediately distrust it.  At best, I consider it a half-truth.  After all, the internet has provided us with Facebook, and countless other social networking tools for this very purpose, so why use a dating site?  My experience with Alex has taught me that this type of thinking is not a good way to behave.  In the future, I'm going to do my best to believe what people tell me more, because if I don't I could miss out on knowing some excellent friends, and there really are some cool people on dating sites.

Just recently, I received a message that someone wanted to meet me.  This had never happened before, so I really didn't know how to react to it.  Apparently this meetup request was a feature of my dating site I was unaware of.  I checked out her profile, and she looked nice enough, but there was a slight complication:  she had kids.  Now I have nothing against kids, but I just don't think I'd want to date someone with kids.  For me I think it would just serve as a constant reminder of a previous relationship, whatever it may have been, and this would only lead to awkwardness.  I haven't dated many people, so I'd prefer to start off with someone uncomplicated.
In addition to that, she didn't have a car, and lived a fair distance from me.  I don't have a driver's license, so this meetup was essentially an impossibility.  (or at least, something difficult to arrange)  So, not really knowing what else to do, I ignored it.  I always feel bad when I do things like this, regardless of how attracted I am to someone.  You know my feelings on being ignored/forgotten.  I feel like I should be honest with everyone, but I often think that my honesty would only end up making things worse.  So, there are times when I just have to end up saying nothing, rather than hurting someone's feelings.  I don't want to break anyone's heart because I know how that feels all too well.