I'm happy to say that I'm feeling much better about things. I've given it some though, and I intend to bring some more of this positivity into this blog in the future.
I spent the last few days among friends and family having adventures, and I've gained some perspective on things. Here are some of the most important things I've realized:
1. I make things awkward for myself.
While I think I am somewhat awkward by nature, there are times I don't do myself any favours in that department. I have a bad tendency to overthink, and let things get a lot more awkward than they should be with people. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to about this, but I think I'll figure something out.
2. I'm much too hard on myself.
If things go wrong, I usually blame myself, even if there was really no one to blame. I focus on my failures and weaknesses instead of concentrating on the qualities that people like about me. I am going to try to change this.
3. I have some confidence.
I realize that this doesn't sound like me, but it's true, and I'm only just realizing it. When it comes to women, I think all I really need is that initial nudge from a friend to get me started, then I can run with it. In any case, I think this realization will help me with social situations in general. (see realization #1)
4. The game is not over.
I'm finally realizing that my recent turmoil is not the end of the world. It was an awful situation, and it hurt me a lot, but I can come back from this. I'm sure that in the coming days, various memories and thoughts of Alex will come back to haunt me, but I'm coming to terms with what happened. I think we shared some things, and had some sort of understanding at one point
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