Sigh...

Things have been busy for me lately.  I'm in the process of moving into a bachelor apartment, which is kind of an adventure, and will bring new experiences and perhaps new dating options into my life.  I've been shopping and boxing up old stuff like mad, but there's still one thing I haven't quite been able to shake...
For some irrational reason, I've been haunted by the ghost of Three Point One.  Like a bad meal eaten at an unfamiliar restaurant, she keeps coming back up on me.  I suppose you could call it emotional indigestion.  Lately, I've been seeing things that somehow remind me of her for whatever reason, and I've been considering contacting her again.  I realize that this is a terrible idea, but I can't quite shake it.  In movies and TV, I like open endings, but in my own life, this sort of thing bothers me.  I think this is kind of why I want to try talking to Three Point One again.  All I really want from this is to figure out just what happened.  I guess it really doesn't matter anymore, but it's something that nags at me when I'm in my depressive moods.  I always feel as though there was something I could have done to fix things, and if I was told what that was, I could apologize for it, and things would be good again.  Apology is kind of the late theme of my life.  I've been told by several people that I apologize too much, and I think they're right.  It's a habit I'm trying to get away from, but it's not always the easiest thing to practice.  I guess this comes back to my lack of confidence, which is a subject I could do a whole other post about.  I'm working on improving myself in these areas, but I'm not sure if I'm actually making any progress.

Getting back to my original point, whatever I had with Three Point One is long gone, and for some crazy reason, I'm still having trouble getting over that.  I don't really have feelings for her anymore, but somewhere inside, there's a small part of me that hangs onto the good beginnings of that relationship, such as it was, and wants to give it another try.

Maybe this is less complicated than I'm making it out to be, but it's what I've been going through lately.  It's not a constant thing, but these thoughts come up just often enough to put me into mood.  Hopefully, I'll meet someone new soon who will make me forget all about that traitorous snake-woman who broke my heart.