As has become my recent trend, I've avoided posting this one for some time. This is because things have become complicated...or maybe not, I'm not entirely sure right now. Anyway, here's the rest of the Hat Girl story. (at least so far)
As I mentioned in my previous post, I made a certain emotional connection with Hat Girl at the wedding, but I was still not entirely sure how she felt about me. A few days later, I asked her, and found out she did. I also may have kind of asked her out.
Being the honest guy I am, I almost immediately told Little Red about it. I knew that she might be a little upset, but the reaction I got was far worse than expected. I should have known better, but then again, pretty much anything is preventable in hindsight. Anyway, Little Red was understandably crushed when I told her about this, even though Hat Girl and I hadn't even set up anything definite. It makes me feel pretty awful to admit, but I think I might have made Little Red cry because of this.
Needless to say, we had a long, emotional fight about it, and I finally realized that I'd acted like kind of a jerk, and decided to just call the whole thing off with Hat Girl. Of course, that meant having to let her down, which is a hard thing when it's the last thing you want to do to anyone. I guess it was partially my fault for not being completely honest with Hat Girl though. All I ever told her about Little Red was that she was a girl I 'talked to sometimes', whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. I guess explaining the whole thing seemed too complicated, (not to mention I might have slipped and said something about the adult times) so I was a lot more vague than I should have been. I told Hat Girl about what the real situation was a little more honestly (although with some light editing, for reasons that should be obvious). She was upset with me for not telling her right away, but I did my best to apologize, and she agreed to stay friends.
I felt bad about how things went, so I recently offered to take Hat Girl out to lunch to properly apologize. There are still a lot of things floating around my mind about this situation, so I'm not entirely sure how this will go. I just hope I'm doing the right thing, and not getting myself into more trouble.
I feel like I'm reading the diary of Scott Pilgrim. "I want to date that girl with the cool hair from the party but Knives Chow is so nice and I don't want to hurt her feelings." You know how well that worked out for Mr. Pilgrim.
ReplyDelete...Actually, it did work out okay for him, but only after he had to defeat a whole bunch of bad guys. Which wasn't Knives' fault at all, though in the movie she goes a little psycho and in the comics her dad is a scary ninja guy who goes after Scott, which are both things that could have been avoided if he had just been completely honest with everyone from the beginning. Or maybe if he had just dated them both casually, it would have been okay. Maybe set up a poly-amorous relationship in which he takes Knives to the library on Tuesday/Thursday and makes out with Ramona on Monday/Wednesday/Friday (on weekends he's gay with his roommate and/or has band practice). Does anybody outside of Portland, Oregon even use the word "poly-amorous" or is that just a clever phrase my hipster friends use when they're trying to tell me they're sleeping with everyone and everything? If Scott Pilgrim falls in a forest, does he make a sound?
I guess what I'm trying to say is this: If you go out with Hat Girl, go out with Hat Girl! If you want to date Little Red, stick to Little Red don't pick up new girls at weddings! Not that you asked for advice, and not that I'm an expert, but that's my two cents.
And here we have Exhibit A: Why Lauren never leaves comments. Haha...
In all seriousness, good luck figuring it out, dude.
That Scott Pilgrim analogy is so apt I never even realized it! You're probably right, but I have to admit, I'm feeling somewhat conflicted lately.
DeleteBy the way, polyamorous is definitely a thing. In fact, I'll be doing a post on that at some point or other, but it's probably going to be a while before I figure out what I want to say about it.
P.S. I think this is why Lauren should ALWAYS leave comments! :)
"If you go out with Hat Girl, go out with Hat Girl! If you want to date Little Red, stick to Little Red don't pick up new girls at weddings!"
ReplyDeleteI agree with that above comment...
Dave you are confusing me, I thought Little Red was... well not gone completely, but that you were just mutual friends now? I don't know, I guess I've forgotten the older posts. Why was she sad if you guys aren't even dating? She can't expect you to just hold out forever, only to go back to her when she eventually (if ever) feels like it.
Hat Girl sounds awesome, Little Red doesn't sound like it is going anywhere (nor sounds very healthy).
Whether it's 'official' or not, the point is that Little Red and I definitely have a strong emotional relationship with each other. There are various reasons why she hasn't made a proper commitment (which I've covered in previous posts), and I've been doing what I can to be patient and understanding with her, because I feel like a relationship with her would be very worthwhile.
DeleteI don't really know how things are going to work out right now, but like I said in the main post, I just don't want to end up hurting anyone.