Sad Man In A Blue Box

A few days ago, Rose gave me a phone call.  It was a call I'd been fearing in the back of my mind for a while, although I never admitted to it before.  She told me that for our own good, she'd have to cut off contact with me.  No Facebook, no email, nothing.  It would be as if we'd never known each other.  Logically, I understood the reasons, but I struggled to understand through the entire phone conversation.  It was a very difficult thing to accept, but I knew why it had to be this way.  I think the part that made it the hardest was knowing that it was done out of love, with my best interests at heart.
And so, much like The Doctor, I had to leave my own Rose behind.  As we know (sorry to exclude you non-Whovians, but I'm making a point here), after that, The Doctor changed.  On the surface, he was the same mad man in the blue box, but inside, he was falling apart.  He started to get angrier at times, and made rash decisions that he wouldn't have before.  I'm not sure if I'm saying something about myself here or not, but I guess you can judge by whatever follows.
It's only been a few days, and I already feel like it's killing me.  I still want Rose, and I think she knows that, even though I can't tell her.  The urge to send her an email is almost too much to resist at times.  I miss her being close to me, but I also miss everyday things like having normal conversations with her.  I want to play Magic and watch movies with her again.  But now we can't, and I feel like it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
If I had some idea of who that special lady is for me, even if it was something as simple as a photo or a name, I think I'd feel better about things.  But I guess knowing that now wouldn't do me much good, since my heart is still rebuilding itself...

Sorry to be a downer, everyone.  Next post will be something amusing, promise.