Yes, it's true. In the grand scheme of things, I'm not really very old, but as much as I hate to admit it, I am not as young as I once was. Even as I'm writing this, I'm aging. There are times I look in the mirror and see the beginnings of what I'm sure will become wrinkles. I'm pretty sure I'm going to age well, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. To counteract this process, I intend to stop counting when I hit 29.
Seriously though, aging does bother me a bit when it comes to the dating situation. As is probably the case for some of you other twentysomethings, many of my friends are now married, and some even have children. This makes my situation all the more frustrating. I worry that I'm going to end up falling hard for the first woman who takes any real interest in me, and rush into a marriage neither one of us will be satisfied with. The trouble is, I don't really know if there's anything I can do to avoid this situation.
If I look under the surface a bit, I suppose this all comes down to fear. I don't know the precise explanation, but I am afraid I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I want to get married and have children someday, but at the moment, the whole scenario seems hopeless. The thing is, I don't want to let this fear override my rationality, and make me rush into things. Like most things love-related, it's complicated. I probably don't have much to worry about in reality, but being alone with ones thoughts is not always great when you're on your own.
David Shortt, get out of my head!!!
ReplyDeleteI pulled my back today... I'm 22.
ReplyDeleteI see old people alone at restaurants and seriously cry, it's so sad... but, maybe they are really happy. I don't know. Right now I like being alone, I enjoy not answering to anyone or having to ever check in. I like sleeping alone and staying in on a Saturday night if I want to. Alone doesn't mean lonely; it can, but it doesn't have to.
I get that fear every now and again, but then I remind myself that if I look at life right now, I'm ultimately happy not being married. Not having that committment and another person to worry about while I'm still trying to get my own life sorted out.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard though. 95% of my friends are married, engaged, have children, or have been in a seriously relationship for years and are only a few steps away from marriage.
My parents don't help any, as my father likes to remind me that at my age, he had been married for a few years, owned his own house and was about to have his firstborn child (me).
Meanwhile, I am living with my parents, working a dead-end job, and the only things I own that are really of any value are a car, tv, PS3 and computer.
In your situation, I think it's important to take into consideration the female point of view.
ReplyDeleteI.E. In their early 20's, many girls are already getting pressured to breed. (not a pretty way of saying it, but it's true.) While many others (i.e. me) are getting reminded constantly that they should carry on until their late 20's or even 30's before they pro-create.
While you may feel like you need to find a mate, keep in mind that females have a lot of pressure as well and may not be encouraging your advances for that reason.
(Also, the majority of my male friends are in their 30's and 40's...and alone... so you have time, no fears.)
I hadn't thought about it that way, C. Thanks for the added perspective. In the end, I suppose there is life after 29, so I should probably relax a bit and just let things happen as they will.
ReplyDelete