Hugs and (a little) Heartbreak

First, the good news:  today, I went on a date for the first time in a very long time.  (except that one time)  As you can probably tell by the title, things didn't quite work out as planned, but I think I should start from the beginning.

This lady (who I will hereafter refer to as Little Red) and I met online.  We share many of the same interests and live in the same town, so I suggested a meetup early on.  She told me she wanted to message a bit first before getting too far into things, so we did that.  Eventually, I brought up the subject again, and things were all set.

I arrived at the coffee shop first, and sat quietly at the back of the place, nervously waiting.  She arrived late, which she apologized for.  I was simply glad I hadn't been stood up.  I told her that it was the first time I'd met someone from the internet, and I suspected it was a first for her as well, though she never said it.  We were both a little tentative with conversation, at first.  I twitched and tried to figure out things to say, while Little Red sat quietly, possibly also trying to figure out things to say.  I admitted to her that I hadn't been on a date (a word that was almost a struggle to say, truth be told) in some time, and she told me she'd never been on one before.  I said it made us basically even, but I wonder now if that didn't add a little pressure to the situation for both of us.  There was much nervous laughter and shifting of eyes, but once we started talking about writing, we started to relax a bit more.  We talked until our drinks were finished, and then we proceeded to wander around various stores in the area, mostly because Little Red wanted to look at Christmas decorations (she's a big Christmas fan) and books and things.  I was just happy for the company, and wandered along with her.

After a bit, we wandered outside for a while.  I still didn't know what to do with my hands, so I kept alternating between holding them behind my back and stuffing them in my pockets.  I wanted to hold her hand, but I wasn't sure how that move would be interpreted, and I didn't want to seem too forward, so I kept on fidgeting.  We kept trying to have a normal conversation, but mostly ended up apologizing to each other for our awkwardness.  At one point, Little Red mentioned to me that she was the hugging type, so I almost immediately hugged her.  It was a nice little moment.

Then, things got real.

We found a place to sit down, and she explained to me that while she liked me and thought I was a good looking guy, she wasn't quite ready to date me.  It was unexpected, but not as powerful a blow as I thought it might be.  We sat there, trying to sort out our emotions, and hugging some more.
"You look so sad."  She said to me.
"I am sad."  I replied.
It was more of a general statement, but perhaps I was commenting on the situation after all.  Either way, I made sure to let her know that I didn't begrudge her for not being ready.  She apologized to me several times, which reminded me of myself, and I kept on telling her not to be sorry for how she felt.  She said she'd ruined our date, which I denied completely.  Even though it hadn't ended the way I expected, I had enjoyed my time with Little Red.
Eventually, it was time to say goodbye, so we hugged once again, and tried to make the best of a bad situation with kind words.  Just before I left, she held on to my arm, firmly but not too tight.  I could tell in that moment that there were a million little thoughts going through her head, and I wish that I could know what they were.  I told her that I would be around, and that I would probably still be available once she was ready.  I think that we could still end up together, but for the moment, I'm just going to have to be patient, and allow things to develop naturally.
At the end of the day, I can always say I went on a date and got some really good hugs, and I suppose that's enough to keep me going a while longer.