It's been an interesting few days for me.
After my date (see my last post), I discovered that there was something I didn't know about Little Red. I won't divulge the details here, or how I came upon them, but the point is that I'm not going to be waiting for her any longer. For the record, it was merely unwelcome knowledge, and nothing scandalous at all.
At first, I was very upset about this, which is probably understandable, even out of context. After having come so close to a relationship, it was a tough blow to take after the fact, and it left me somewhat devastated. Perhaps not quite as much as with others (Alex, for instance), but I was feeling pretty fragile. This is why it's taken a few days to write this post. I was having a lot of trouble finding the words to accurately depict the slow implosion of my heart, so I hope this recounting will do.
In fact, I was so torn up about things, I actually sent an ill-advised email to Natalie of Baggage Reclaim. I was in such a state, in fact, that I'm not sure I actually asked for any specific advice, although I'm sure she'll get the gist of it. I kind of wish I could take it back now, but what's done is done. At best, I think I'll probably be called an emotional assclown, but that's probably what I deserve anyway, so I'll take it, and follow whatever further advice I'm given. (although I probably won't swear off dating, even if I'm told to do so. Just being honest here)
Anyway, after all of that, I had a strange moment of calm. I suddenly thought to myself: why are so upset about this anyway? I had to admit I really couldn't answer the question, and so I decided not to be bothered by it. At the moment it seems as though Little Red is going to fade out of my life as fast as she appeared. It's kind of a shame really, because I think we got along well, and I think given another chance, we could end up being friends. In any case, it's up to her now, and if she decides it's not something she wants, I can live with that.
All in all, I guess there are still a couple of nice things I can take from our date, even despite how things turned out. Also, I think this will probably improve my social skills in any future dates, which is always good. For now, I shall soldier on with a sad sort of smile, and hopefully something good will come my way.
Hey, Dave, I just read this post and previous one regarding Little Red. I don't know what information you have come across regarding her, but at least now you have an explanation for her behavior with you.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience with online dating, I never progressed to kissing or hugging the guys I met (unless you count the French greeting of two air kisses on each cheek). When you hugged her, did she seem comfortable being in your arms, or did she stiffen up?
@Barb - This is one of those things that confuses me about the whole experience. She never seemed uncomfortable at all when I decided to hug her, or at least not so I noticed. Between this and the whole arm holding thing I mentioned before, I'm not really sure what to think.
ReplyDeleteThe only real conclusion I can figure is that 'the incident' must have happened at some point just after the date, but I'm only guessing here.
I'm convinced that dating is just one big awkward and tiring (and sometimes fun) process. One of the things I learned from my dating experiences is that people never fail to amaze me. I've been on dates that I thought went very well, only to never hear from the guy again. There's no way to know what's going on inside her head. Soldier on...She's out there looking for you too. :-)
ReplyDeleteSometimes, the briefest of relationships and dating experiences can teach us the most important lessons. I'm sorry it didn't work out with Little Red, but hopefully you have taken something from this that you can use when you are courting the next lucky lady. At the very least, your time with her gave you a few moments to look back upon and smile. I think that counts for a lot.
ReplyDelete~Shane