From: Marion
Re: Hot women's man is needed for a hen party!
Hello there, well-hung stud! [uhmm, thanks?] We are looking for a stunningly hot stud
to please chicks one of these evenings. We are planning to get to a furtive [I don't get the overuse of this word in these emails, I really don't] birthday party
and you'll be the only women's man allowed! Join us [all that does is remind me of Evil Dead...]
From: Heide Perce
Aren't you the cute man with whom we [who's we, exactly?] had the most fascinating day some years ago?
Remember, I was scared of swimming in the river and you persuaded me I'd be fine and we soon found ourselves laid up? [do you mean injured or having sex?]
You were single then and I had a jerk of a boyfriend.
We split up long ago [so long ago, I have no memory of it, apparently] and I am looking for new adventures.
Check out my online profile with kinky vids and call me asap! [kind of hard to call you without a phone number...]
And finally, two more installments of what I will now dub Cryptic Nonsense Theater!
From: Mary Morris
Hate boring boys... hope you are not!
Respond plzzz!
[obligatory white space]
One slipper, overboard foreigners emperor was casted, Kartashov hastily opened Smaragdov, fleck hurry among precipices books, and kindly dazed on the aussie relating to the institute of Troy. [this may be the most confusing sentence in the English language ever written]
Advice, prow had not lookout enough to wipe till the pavement was opened before desire told HER saturation. [was that supposed to be sexual? I don't even know] Coldly the last of the hay had been predictd, rally, intrusting the superintendence of the friendship to the counting-doll angle, they went on a haycock illuminated off by a exposure of lane, and bellowed admiringly at the parricide swarming with peasants.
From: Hailey Sellers
My name is Hailey Sellers. … My name is Hailey Howard. [which is it??]
Write to me.
[more white space than necessary]
In supple, I could learn shaking but that spouse was adept; all the diacritic, for eight frail months, was twofold to cataract. Forever were generous a fever of women in the dock, lily were nodding to their admiring friends, while the detection pacify some depositions to a patter of policemen and a greenery in social kindness domicile leant widely the outside.
At last, about, and after I had been could scarcely in England, I DID strike her. Flowering liar into the forester, he went chest into the first diffident gift, adjoining that in interchange the visitors were billing, and took the vision formerly.
[So, to sum up all of that, see the video below]
Haha @ Evil Dead. Swallow your soul, swallow your soul! That message had a very creepy vibe.
ReplyDeleteBtw, you may want to double check your HTML code in this post. The empty space at the end stretched out the length of the entry. I've had that happen to me a few times.
Thanks for the heads-up Shane! Should be fixed now.
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