As I kind of expected, Jersey Girl finally contacted me today, and officially said she wasn't interested. She said that I came off clingy and desperate, and I can't say I disagree with that. I think this was all simply a case of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Jersey Girl and I weren't really all that compatible, and I knew it, but I tried to make us fit together anyway. I might be sad for a little while, but I think I'll get over it, and there's even a chance we could still be friends.
I really haven't followed this reinvention idea of mine as closely as I thought I would, and I've suffered for it. I've been something of an emotional train wreck lately, and I'm entirely at fault. After some talk with Number One, I realized I was once again chasing the magic solution. What I need to do now is to refocus and stop letting my singlehood/loneliness define who I am, because this is probably the precise reason I have failed in relationships. Why should anyone care about me if I can't care about myself?
Yeah. Being able to learn to love yourself is indeed a necessary step, Dave. In any case, it's better than trying to force something that was never meant to be...
ReplyDelete-Barb
I believe I may have offered similar advice in some of my comments. I do think that you are getting the right idea. Love yourself, then love others. I know it's hard to stick to that quest, but there are few more worthwhile pursuits. In the movies, happily-ever-after comes after 2 hours. In real life, it is exponentially harder.
ReplyDelete~Shane